So, after the bungalow incident, i went into school for my S.A.T's exams, and that was it, i made up excuses that i felt really ill, i luckily was having the metal rods removed from my arm in the june so needed 3 weeks off anyway so in about the last 3 and half months of year 9 i spent a grand total of 3 weeks at school, including exams. My parents started to suspect something, but if i was asked anything i lost it, my temper would fly off and i would have to be left for a good few hours to calm down, this only made my mam panic more....
September 2005 back at school 1st day of year 10, i was getting on with things there had been a rumour that he had been excluded again on the 1st day so i was at ease, i wanted to keep my head down, it was coming up to my G.C.S.E's and i had had the 1st 3 years of my education messed up i needed to get the last 2 right surely!?!?! A week went by still no twat, then 3 weeks, then 6 weeks, then i had to ask the question were was he, i got Kyle to find out and apparently he couldn't be arsed to turn up to school...that was completely fine for me, little did i know he hadn't forgot about me. I got through the 1st term of year 10 fine and then january 2006 came along and he started turning up again, names started, punches started, it all started, he tried to set my hair on fire, he tried to ram my head into a wall, i was lucky that a teacher saw him and sent him away from me.
Every time he did something it hurt just the same, even though some of it was nothing compared to other stuff he did, i couldn't get the idea in my head that if i told someone, then it would stop, april 2006 and i got caught in the toilets blood on my hands and arms, i had taken the only way out i could see that gave me control, i started to cut myself, and some girls finally caught me, they ran for a teacher, i got rushed into the school office, and teachers sat there looking at me like i was some freak.....then one spoke up and just simply said 'Why?', my response was simply, 'because it hurts less'.
I got sent home, and had to tell my mam, i sat there on my bed, i looked at her, and i could see she was worrying what had happened, she knew something was wrong, but i don't think anything could of prepared her. Her only daughter and youngest child was about to tell her for that nearly 4 years she has been bullied by the same boy, the same chubby ginger boy since i started the school, i had to tell her about each and every punch,slap,kick,push,name and feel, and even worse i had to tell her that it had driven me to cut myself and make me feel pain i could control. Once i said it, the look on her face like it all clicked, she whispered 'how stupid can a mother be?', then walked out my room into the bathroom and cried, when she came out eyes red and blotchy she just walked up to me, hugged me and promised she would sort it out, she would keep me safe, she just needed to know one thing...HIS NAME! I had never told anyone, anything to do with this never mind mentioned his name to anyone....But it was my mam and i could see that i was going to be safe and i could tell her. I simply hugged her and said 'Liam' he is in my tutor'. She didn't say anymore, she ran me a bath and got me fresh pjs out and went downstairs to tell my dad.
The next day i went into school with my parents, all 3 brothers, my aunty and 2 of my cousins they all wanted a piece of Liam they all wanted to rip him to pieces. The head-teacher took them to her office and we must of been in there nearly 3 hours when it was decided Liam would get a days suspension, 1 WHOLE DAY FOR 4 YEARS OF TORTURE!? and if my parents wanted to get the police involved they could. Of course my parents did and they wasn't needing her permission they had rang them the night before, i was interviewed but because of my own stupidity, it was to late and no proof,to this day i still feel so idiotic for not saying something at that point!
The head-teacher that suspended Liam for a day got sacked 3 weeks later, A new head started in sepetember 2006, Liam carried on his torture and the minute i told the head he was gone, that was it out the school for good, I smiled, and walked out of school thinking it was all over.
And yes the taunts are over and yer he hasn't touched me since, but it will never be over because he still gets to walk around and possibly do worse to others, i could of done something, but i couldn't speak, i lost my voice because of some arsehole, and the sad thing is, till i take my last breath i will blame myself for the fact that he will be doing it to another girl, or even worse and if i had stopped when it happened to me, this new girl with no voice, would actually be safe.
Well there we go, you know his name, you know nothing got done, and you know my regret, this has taught me to speak out, don't lose my voice, just hold onto it tight AND SCREAM!!!! xx
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