Now i will skip forward a few months, April 2003 only 3 and half months left of year 7, but another 3 and a half years of bullying. Back then i was young and silly and thought it would blow over, so kept it to myself, didn't let it get on top of me to much. STUPID? Yes! REGRET IT? Without a doubt! But can i go back and change it no, i wish i could , knowing what i know now.
So yes April 2003, in my secondry school they had a big marble stair case the kind you imagine in your princess dreams,walking down in your big princess dress, except these were uglier and very painful to fall down, i found this out when he pushed me down them each and every morning from about this time, and after a few months it gets so tirering to resist so you give in sometimes, it hurt less looking back.
Right now your wondering, well didn't a teacher see this and do something, yes they did and no they didn't.
SHIT!
By june 2003 i had gained a lot of weight, i did become a comfort eater, after all eating i could control when i did it, my parents assumed it was to do with puberty and my body changing a lot, because to be fair i did get boobies very quickly, and always been known for having rather large knockers. So they knew nothing of what was happening at school, if my bruises or scratches where seen i would simply lie and say i did it in p.e. or i fell while i was out, i am the clumsiest girl ever so this is actually very believable =/.
Summer 2003 was a happy time no school i lost nearly 2 and a half stone as i was happy i didn't feel any need to eat i never saw him, i didn't get up in a morning and wonder what excuse i could use if i got another mark. Dreading september wasn't enough to even stop it arriving, so it flew at me like a tonne of bricks, and there it was, the prison school, year 8, surely nearly 9 weeks off he would of got over been a twat to me, I WISH!
On my 1st day back he bust my lip and broke my nose by pushing me down the stairs, second day back he picked up a chair and swung it at my stomach, hello cracked rib, 3rd day he whipped my legs till they bled, 4th day i was in hospital getting treated for my 'clumsyness'....
After a week off, i was back and he was strangely quiet,he kept clear of me he didn't even get me when he had a perfect chance, infact it was even scarier that he wasn't doing anything! After a couple of weeks i thought oh good my life is finally back to normal, he has go bored of me, i relaxed more, i lost more weight, i smiled!
Going into the girls toilets 1 day during lesson i was desperate, i hate public toilets as it is but i could of created a lake if i waited any longer, i heard the smoker girls come in the toilet...perfectly normal, didn't fuss me they knew my brothers and knew me as his sister, however i walked out the toilet cubicle to a knife at my throat from him and a lighter and hairspray can infront of my face, i screamed and ran, the girls stayed behind, he ran after me caught up with me and cut my leg at back and said 'nice little reminder for you love' those words haunt me!
I will write some more in the morning, sorry if its not an interest, but its actually helping me xx
No comments:
Post a Comment